Vote `em all out!

Isn't politics fun? It seems like as soon as one election is over, the campaigning for the next one begins. I realize that political discourse often causes many eyes to glaze over and blood to shoot from others. We are either fanatical about politics or completely disinterested. I have been both over the years. Not always at the same time, of course.

I have been liberal and conservative, apathetic and rabid, and often confused. The last 20 or so years, the political atmosphere has been smoggy and harsh. Candidates from both major parties have accused their opponents of being divisive and fostering anger, fear, and hate. It reminds me of the bumper sticker (and/or tagline in emails and usenet posts) Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt... my job here is done. The first part soon became the acronym FUD and was used in accusations such as "spreading FUD."

Much was made a few years ago about term limits. There are valid (and not so valid) arguments in favor and against term limits. Some say they are unconstitutional. I think they are, so long as they, the limits, are not created by federal law unless by amendment to the Constitution. Personally, I don't think we need laws to limit terms. We can, if we will, enforce them at the ballot box. Just refuse to vote for incumbents who have already served two terms. If you aren't sure if they have served at least 2 terms then just vote out the incumbent. It'll work. If enough of us are willing to do it.

I mean, what's with career politicians? I associate them with career criminals. It's pretty hard to tell them apart anyway. Except their thievery is allegedly legal. Career politicians are our Ruling Class. I see way too many members of the same families getting elected to offices not because they are the best candidate (or even qualified for it) but because they are members of a prominent political family. Wives "inherit" a Senate seat, sons follow in their fathers' footsteps; cousins and nephews and nieces trade on the family name. And how can they do this? Because we let them. Because we still have that belief in aristocracy buried in our brains.

Why am I boring you with this political tripe? Because we here in Florida have a primary coming up soon. Some of you may have one coming also. And the best way to impose term limits is in these primaries. Make the incumbents nervous, kick them out, vote for the other guy, any other guy (or gal), shake `em up.

I promise to go back to my usual pointless ramblings come Monday.

Night Shiftin'

I saw an article in my local (ha! Tampa is not really local to me) paper asking for people to relate their stories about how they cope with the Graveyard Shift so one of their reporters could do a story on it. They seemed to want to hear from those currently working that shift. I'm retired so I figured I did not qualify.

Most of the years that I worked for was employed by... a huge communications company (which shrank a bit and then was swallowed up by a company that had been spun off some years ago), I worked what we called the Night Shift and most people call the graveyard shift; midnight to 8 AM.

There are pros and cons to working that shift. Let's go over them:

Pros:

• You have all day off.

A co-worker once described it as having every day off... but you're sick all the time. Still, it was great for Christmas shopping and hitting the gym or going to the beach.

• There are fewer supervisors around.

Actually, there were no supervisors around most of the time. My first year at an old step office in North Miami, there were two but they left me alone. The only time I saw supervisors, usually, was as I was leaving or I had to stay late for a meeting.

• The atmosphere is more laid back.

It's hard to imagine a more laid back job than telecom work but this shift qualified. The Evening shift (4PM-Midnight) was even more laid back since they watched TV for 3 hours and played cards the rest of the time.

• You get higher pay (I got 10% above Day Shift).

I had a union rep on Day Shift complain once that off-shifts (both Evening and Night shifts got the 10% premium) got too much compensation. I shut him up by asking You want to swap shifts with me? He said No way! To which I replied Then we aren't paid too much yet. He never complained again (in front of me).


Cons:

• The rest of the world is not on the Night Shift.

This becomes readily apparent pretty much immediately. You learn some tricks; locked gates at the street, "no soliciting" signs, disconnected doorbells, ringers turned off on telephones, and ear plugs. I had to leave the telephone ringer on (turned down low) because I had a young son in school and leaving it on occasionally caused a problem.

Supervisors simply assumed it was okay to call you with some trivial question that he (or she) thought important. I got a call one Tuesday afternoon about 2 from John, my supervisor, asking me if I wanted to work on Friday (my day off that week). I asked him if he needed my answer immediately, he said "No, just let him know in the morning." So I did. I called him at 4 AM and told him "No thanks, I don't want to work it." He got the point after I explained it to him when he showed up at the office 45 minutes later to chew me out. It seemed I had to train each supervisor separately, though.

• Sleeping during the daylight hours is difficult.

Especially on weekends. Do you realize just how loud a lawnmower is? Ear plugs only help a little. Having a very large rural lot with no neighbor closer than 200 feet helps a lot.

I learned quickly that my best sleeping time was between noon and 6 PM. Going to sleep right after I got home didn't work well, I was falling asleep the last two hours of my shift.

• Your family thinks you hibernate every day.

And they are right. The master bedroom was referred to as "The Cave" and the admonition was to never awaken the sleeping bear.

Still, I enjoyed that shift and volunteered for it at every opportunity. Which ought to give you an idea just how sick I am.

Capitalism explained

I admit it. I am an unrepentant capitalist pig. I enjoy amassing money and property. I would love to be filthy rich. On the other hand, I am too lazy to actually make the effort to do so. Instead, I play Monopoly. On my computer. I spoke of this before. Obviously, I couldn't think of something new to write about so I dragged this subject back out. Live with it.

Monopoly is a game anyone over the age of 7 can play and appreciate. You should try to play with peers, not between adults and kids. Personally, I think kids should only play against kids close to their own age. Within a couple of years anyway.

It is not simply a game, it's a social event. With children, it's a fun game and it teaches how to manage money and purchases as a side benefit. With adults, or even teens, it becomes almost cutthroat. Trickery, guile, sneakiness are all rewarded... just as in real life.

There are strategies that can be used to enhance your chances of winning or prevent another player from gaining too much of an advantage. Strategies do not always work out because the game is a combination of skill and luck. Much depends upon the throw of the dice. But once all properties have been bought and if no one has an important (meaning a "high income" set) then strategy comes to the forefront. Like a poker game, you will have weak players and strong. The weaker players will fall prey to the stronger.

The smart player will figure out which players will make trades that are advantageous for the smart player. The weak player will undervalue a trade. Trades are the best way to control the game. The most basic strategy is to block monopolies by either owning a property in each monopoly set though initial play (roll of the dice) or by obtaining them through trades. Weak players will accept a trade which gives the offering player a monopoly while seemingly gaining more cash and/or property. The smartest players will figure out how manipulate the weaker ones.

I grew up playing the game against an older brother (2 years older) and sister (6 years older). Both of my siblings were devious and basically ruthless. Still are, I suspect. I learned quickly to be suspicious of all trade offers. I also learned to stay out of any game where my brother took on the role of The Bank. He would have a seemingly endless amount of cash available. He embezzled. My sister was more trustworthy as The Bank. Though I learned to closely watch her also.

The game is best played by 4 people. This way, alliances (unspoken, of course) are made and broken. The first goal is to gain the advantage that will carry you through when two players are wiped out and there is just you and one other.

And isn't that just like real life?

No, not exactly. In Monopoly, there is only two taxes: income and Luxury. In real life, taxes are everywhere. In real life, you would have more than just one fee to build a house or hotel. There would be impact fees, assessments, filing fees, permit fees, and local commissioners to bribe. In real life, each player must have at least one lawyer. In real life, the game is much more complex and difficult to navigate. And most of us lose.

Why do I do these things?

I enter the room. There are men and women; there is groaning and grunting and heavy breathing; bodies writhing, heaving up and down; sweat is soaking what clothes they have on. Faces contorted in concentration, a mixture of pleasure and pain evident. Music plays in the background, bodies moving in various rhythms.

No, it's not a sex club. It's a gym. It's where people go so they would look good at a sex club... if one would go to a sex club. Which I surely would not. Again. Not now. I am happily married, I am told, and those clubs would be highly detrimental to my health.

Not so long ago, the Love of My Life (She Who Must Be Obeyed) decided that we should get some regular exercise. It was about the time I entered rehab for the kneecap, or shortly thereafter. She mentioned signing up at the local YMCA. And mentioned it. And mentioned it. I, of course, smiled, nodded, and generally ignored ithe suggestions.

After all, I play golf 3 days a week. This involves the rigorous exercise of getting in and out of a golf cart many times per round. The better you play, the less times you have to do that. Since I do not play all that well, I figure that I do it plenty. And then there's the upper body aerobic effect of swinging the club more often than I should need to.

But she got a call one day. It was the YMCA folks telling her she "won" free use of the facilities for an unspecified period. When I asked her how she had won it, she said "By answering the phone." And when I asked how long the "unspecified period" was, she had no idea, that they didn't say; just that she was to come in and all would be explained during her tour of the facilities.

She went the next Friday while I went to play golf. She broke it to me after I had de-compressed from the heat, humidity, and humiliation. She had signed us up for a family membership for 1 year and was given an additional 7 months for free.

"Yippee!", I cheered. Well, maybe it was more like I groaned something under my breath. Maybe "muttered" is a better word.

I will say this much, she is sticking it out so far. Yes, it has only been a month but she goes a couple of days more than I do. I go the 3 days I do not play golf. Sunday, we both rest. As is required, I think, for a healthy body.

I have to admit, I feel better now that I exercise regularly. Well, now I do. The first week or so, I didn't. I felt sore. Now, I just feel tired. Which makes my afternoon naps on the sofa so much easier... and appreciated.

The Dude Abides

This was too good to pass up. Someone mentioned in a comment thread over at the Hannibal Blog that "The Dude abides", which led eventually to this web page... http://dudeism.com/

The origins of this new and slowly growing religion lie in the movie "The Big Lebowski", a cult classic starring Jeff Bridges. Since Dudeism's main tenet is "Take it easy, man", I am a natural for this cult. This path to enlightenment is strewn with indifference, indolence, and a definitely laid back attitude toward life and wearing nothing more than a T-shirt, undershorts, a robe, and slippers (though it is too warm for a robe where I live) even when visiting millionaires. I figure I belong among its adherents.

I will have to delve more deeply into this... without expending too much effort. Expending effort seems to be antithetical to the tenets of this sect.