Regrets that we rue

Sometimes I worry too much. I used to be worse, I used to worry all the time. Especially when I was a child. It was insecurity. I know that now. I had a very poor self image. I can blame that on my family dynamics but that's a cop out. I could have overcome that. I have but it took me many years to do so. In the meantime, I caused myself a lot of problems and lost countless opportunities because of it.

I was reminded of this while discussing (arguing) with others over an article somewhere on the internet. The article was about gender roles and cultural pressures and norms. Underlying the premise of the article was some truth; that society pressures force (or try to force) us square pegs into round holes. Peer pressure is a major part of this. Sometimes we call that "fitting in", an apt description if you look at the square peg/round hole thing.

As a kind of "herd animal", we want to blend into the crowd, we don't want to be different. That seems to change in our teens where we fool ourselves into thinking that being different from our elders while conforming to our peers is being "unique." At the same time, we are succumbing to the peer pressure of our teenage cultural norms. We are also likely to be a part of the peer pressure ourselves. It's a twisted and strange thing we do to our minds in those years.

I sometimes rue the fact that I didn't resist that social pressure sooner and stronger than I eventually did. But I am learning to laugh at my regrets. Because, otherwise, that way lies madness.