Men vs Women

I am going to make a confession. I am a flaming heterosexual. I know, it's a shock but I feel I have to admit it. I think I have always known this, ever since I was 5 and was sweet on the little blond girl with the curly hair and the rosy cheeks who gave me a kiss on the cheek after I walked her across the street.

The female of the species (and I do try very hard to remain within my species) is exquisite. Women are wonderful, full of wisdom and inner strength. Men seem mostly full of gas.

Admit it, guys, we're pretty disgusting. We're crude and rude. And we tend to smell. When someone says, "Whew! Smells like a locker room!" They aren't talking about the women's locker room, are they?

Women, on the other hand, smell nice. Unless they overdo it a bit. Even then, it isn't the odor that is bad, it's the cloyingly suffocating sense that results. Especially in an elevator.

Men guffaw.
Women titter or giggle.
Men slap you on the back, women lightly touch your shoulder.

Men are rough, coarse, and usually without a clue. Especially around women.

I once made an observation that women are feline in nature while men are canine. I think this is fairly obvious.

Men often run in packs, sometimes large one, make a lot of noise, and there is almost always a bit of jostling about for the role of alpha male. There is often some snarling involved. And we tend to pee against the occasional tree. We tear at our food. We devour it. We are generally quite sloppy.

Women are rarely in groups larger than two when they move about though they may cluster in slightly larger numbers. They eat daintily, taking nibbles and often leaving some behind. However, I don't recall ever seeing cats head for the litter box in groups of two or more.

Cats attract attention, as do women. Men demand it, as do dogs.

Yes, women are definitely the more attractive of the species.

Ladies, I do not know how you put up with us. But I am grateful that you do.