Have we met before?

I was single twice. Before my first marriage and before my second. Marriage is not the natural state of man, you know. When single, we view it as an end of life sort of thing. A bit like indentured servants probably felt. Since I have been married twice, I know better. It's cheaper (and easier) to buy your way out of indentured servitude.

During those times when I was single, I would go out to parties and bars seeking to meet women. For companionship. I mean you can stand being by yourself for only so long. Especially me, I am not great company. The problem was that I was not a party animal or into the "bar scene." Nor was I especially outgoing and sociable. I enjoyed my solitude most of the time. I was, as my mother affectionately called me, a Loner.

So my sojourns to meet women and find romance didn't usually work out well.

Perhaps it was my approach...

"Hi! Nice outfit... it would look really good lying on my bedroom floor."

"I'm lost... would you take me home with you?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or must I show you my bank balance?"

"I like to go to bed early... care to join me?"

"Are you as desperate as I am?"

These "pick up" lines seem to indicate that I was not exactly a successful lecher. Probably all for the best. I seemed to attract "clingers" when I picked up women. One date and they'd be planning our wedding. Nothing makes a single guy nervous as a woman planning their future together while he is still trying to remember her name. When I was young and single, I wasn't looking to be old and married. In fact, any woman who wanted me that bad wasn't someone I trusted to have good judgment.

I have called women who gave me their phone numbers at bars and parties. You'd be amazed at how many women write their numbers down wrong or apparently think that Dial-A-Prayer is some kind of answering service. This might explain why I hear so many women say that men don't call. We do, we just don't get an answer.

I am happily married now so all of this is in my distant past. Thankfully. Otherwise, I would just be a lonely old man.