But sleep won't come...

... the whole night through...*

Ever have one of those nights? You know, where sleep is more than elusive? Where it sits in the shadows near your bed and snickers evilly while you feel your skin, your heartbeat in the pulse near your ear (almost hearing it), breeze from the window (or, these days, the flow of cooled air from the AC vent) chilling you, every sound louder and more annoying?

When I was young, I had so many of those nights but easily survived them. Then, I could go 24 hours easily (sometimes 36) without sleep anyway. Of course, I would always crash at the end and sleep so soundly nothing would rouse me for 10-12 hours.

But I am old now. And when those nights come, there is no ignoring the need for sleep. I will suffer for most of the day, I will be bleary of mind and eye, I will be unable to concentrate anywhere near properly on any task at hand. I will pay for this night dearly. I will nap soundly later in the day, while watching TV or trying to read. Maybe even while hunched over the keyboard of this computer, my head nodding like a heroin addict feeling that rush.

I didn't mind losing sleep when I was young. Sleep was an annoyance all its own then, an intrusion into my desire for constant stimulation. Now sleep is something I desire much more than excitement most days and nights.

But I am still a slave to whatever rules my body clock.

*from "Your Cheatin' Heart" by Hank Williams, Jr.