A Night Unremembered
13 years ago
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I've unfriended a few in my day...
I have a bad temper. I have been this way as far back as I can recall. But I rarely hold a grudge for more than a few days. And I tend to dislike people rather than hate them.
Dislike is an odd word. Like disgruntle or dismiss. It seems to be akin to "unfriend" but that would be a misunderstanding. Dislike simply mean "not like". It seems (with the "dis") to mean no longer liking or stop liking. You do not actually have to like someone in order to dislike them. Heck, you don't even have to know the person to dislike them. In fact, it might be easier to dislike them if you don't know them.
Will Rogers is quoted as having said "I never met a man I didn't like." (We presume that "man" meant "person" here) Actually, that line was part of an epigram:
When I die, my epitaph, or whatever you call those signs on gravestones, is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like." I am so proud of that, I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved.
The concept he expressed was that there is something to like about everyone, even those you might initially think disagreeable; that once you know someone, it is difficult, maybe impossible, to dislike him.
I disagree. I think we meet people we dislike all the time. When we realize we dislike them, we avoid them from then on... if possible. I have worked for, or around, some people I disliked pretty intensely. Not much you can do about who you associate with at work, is there?
Hate is a much stronger emotion than dislike, though. And I can't recall hating anyone for more than a few moments or hours. It's just too intense an emotion. It drains me.
What about you? Hate anyone?
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9 comments:
Can't think of anyone I hate at the moment.
My wife moans that I like people by default and then end up being disappointed when I discover they're pillocks. She on the other hand, has an intense distrust of anyone, and then gradually allows them to work their way into her affections, building up a layer of trust and becoming a true friend, before also ending up being disappointed.
A colleague tells us, after having a serial killer (genuinely) working on his house for 6 months before he was caught, he actually liked him more than his supervisor, and still insists this is true even now.
I have altered my policy (of my youth) of distrust of all strangers and wariness of my friends, to one of a feigned disinterest. The advantage to an illusion of aloofness is that the "riff-raff" tends to avoid you.
Hate is a strong word, if overused. I prefer loathe. And I have worked with people I loathed to be around. Thats why I have a job where, for most of the shift, I work with no one.
And why I enjoyed working midnight to 8AM for so many years. But I didn't hate, or loathe, anyone... just disliked.
Hate is a pretty big word, and I hold it in reserve. But dislike? Oh, yes. Those that I dislike, I don't associate with. Period.
Pearl
In case we wonder if there is some kind of evil intelligence in computer programs... I just signed up with FeedBurner to get your blog emailed to me and the verification word was "shateme"
For the most part I get along with people. But (I hate to say), while I don't actively hate anyone at this point, I do hold a few grudges ... and isn't that just hate that's been dampened down with time and distance?
I know about grudges... I have an ex-wife. But I just can't hang onto them for too long. I view a grudge to be something like putting a pot of soup on simmer. Unless you tend to it, it's gonna damage the pot. Much better to turn the heat off and forget about it, you can always warm it up later if need be.
:-) I'm speechless.
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