The Random Comic Strip

The Random Comic Strip

Words to live by...

"How beautiful it is to do nothing, and to rest afterward."

[Spanish Proverb]

Ius luxuriae publice datum est

(The right to looseness has been officially given)

"Everyone carries a part of society on his shoulders," wrote Ludwig von Mises, "no one is relieved of his share of responsibility by others. And no one can find a safe way for himself if society is sweeping towards destruction. Therefore everyone, in his own interest, must thrust himself vigorously into the intellectual battle."

Apparently, the crossword puzzle that disappeared from the blog, came back.

Monday, February 16, 2009

The New Political Order

Let's suspend my No Politics rule for today. We can do that because this is My Blog and I Say So. What I wish to do is propose that every country get rid of all their current political parties and replace them with two I shall propose in the next paragraph. There is a reason that I only propose two but I may relent and add one other at some point.

The only two political parties should be counter points to each other. That is, they should be diametrically opposed. The average voter, even the below average voter, should be able to easily determine what each party stands for. So, I propose we establish the Chicken Little Party and the Grasshopper Party.

The Chicken Little Party stands for crises. In fact, it gets up and runs around in circles for them. It lives to find them, predict them, and create new ones through actions designed to eliminate old ones. It is a very active party. Forward thinking and full of grandiose ideas. It generally fails to provide either the relief or the bounty it promises but always has an excuse.

The Grasshopper Party is the laissez faire party. Its main purpose is to ignore crises and do nothing to correct, predict, or eliminate them. It stands for nothing. In fact, it rarely gets off its collective butt for anything other than going out to get a meal. It believes that everything will work out if we just leave it alone. Oddly, they may have been right more often than not. It's hard to say because their turns at power have always been interrupted by electoral gains by the Chicken Little Party. Party insiders say this is due to their lack of actually running decent campaigns, preferring instead to assume everything will turn out in their favor.

There is room, of course, for the Heavily Independent Personally Privileged Isolationist Elitist Party. These are known by the acronym H.I.P.P.I.E.s Their platform is basically legalize every substance known to man that muddles the brain and ignore the rest of the world. They are heavily backed by Hostess, Nabisco, and Frito-Lay.

Or everyone could just elect me Emperor of The World. You can trust me, I am honest and very good at delegating.


The Logistician said...

Oh no, Doug! Don't get into political discussions! It'll be the death of your blog!

Douglas said...

It's only for a day. I promise.

Anonymous said...

The Grasshopper party does stand for something. They want to make sure that no one gets laid unless they are married and do it for procreation.

Douglas said...

Anon - No, I don't think so. That would be in violation of the laissez faire doctrine. You have the Grasshopper Party confused with some other party which would not exist.

Jonathan Bert said...

I like the Emperor Douglas idea. The alternatives you give seem familiar, and probably belong to system tha doesn't work.

Douglas said...

Jonathan - What cabinet position would you like?

Michael said...

Ah, action or inaction. I had a very interesting discussion with a Buddhist friend about Confucian and Taoist beliefs, and although, I usually opt for action at first, I ended up having to reconsider.

What do you think? Action or reaction?

I still pick Taoist principles. So I guess I'd vote for the Chicken Little Party.


Michael said...

Oops. action or inaction*

Douglas said...

Michael - Hmmmm, I would think that would be the opposite of Taoism. Closer to Confucius, who was more politically active and wished to create a kind of egalitarianism. A desire for a more just and perfect society. But I am not a student of either so I may be completely wrong in my understanding.

Steven said...

Why create a H.I.P.P.I.E. party when the Grasshoppers are for laissez faire capitalism? Or are they only for laissez faire when it coincides with their value or morality judgments? Do the Grasshoppers support alcohol being legal or are they required to be against it since the H.I.P.P.I.E.s are for it?

And if we're talking "real" politics and crises and Naomi Klein...taking advantage of crises to consolidate government power is not limited to any single party, as we've plainly seen.

Anyway, I'm down with your Grasshoppers, as long as we can agree that the H.I.P.P.I.E.s are part of the team. Not that I'm a pro-brain-muddler type of guy, but Heavily Independent I can roll with, since, you know, that's what sets us apart from most of Europe - the rights of the individual are more important than the rights of the "collective."

Douglas said...

Steven (and others), you are confusing my proposed two major and one minor parties with existing political parties. Think of them as alternative to all the other political parties currently in existence.

Steven said...

Right, my paragraph about crises was definitely pointing out the current flawed system.

The rest, though, I'm not confused about. If all parties have to be diametrically opposed, why have the minor party separate from the laissez-faire party? Why is this minor party ONLY concerned with brain-muddling substances, and doesn't that mean that both of the other parties will outlaw all brain-muddling substances, from caffeine to cocaine to anti-depressants?

I support the legalization of brain-muddling substances for many reasons, including laissez-faire principles, limiting the powers of the state, cutting crime due to black markets, and effective usage of state resources. And if I'm tired and at an early meeting and want a black coffee in one hand and a low-carb Monster energy drink in the other, I don't think I should have to join the minor party.

So the third paragraph of my original comment still stands. Roll the third into the second and we'll have a thought experiment I can get behind...

Douglas said...

Steven - The purpose of a minor (third) party is to be a "relief valve". That means it has to be attractive to the most likely disaffected portions of the two major parties. This limits its impact, of course, but it also maintains it as a threat to the power of the two major parties. It's all about balance of power and the illusion of participation of the masses. The real purpose of the piece was to float the premise of electing me Emperor so that I can correct all the ills of the body politic and bring about peace and harmony to the world.

You take these things much too seriously, Steven.

Steven said...

It's frustrating being marginalized, even in a humorous thought experiment. I do realize it's not serious, but it does show that most people have an ingrained attitude about some things that I'm constantly trying to challenge.

Douglas said...

Steven, welcome to my world. The "parties" I created were based on stereotypes of the current parties. In truth, no party can be all things to all people. The larger a community becomes, the less cohesive its goals and identity. So we form coalitions, which become political parties which are, in turn, made up of political blocs which further dilute the goals and identity. Call it entropy. We were better off as tribes, in a communal sense, but that would have limited the evolution of knowledge and technology.