Let's suspend my No Politics rule for today. We can do that because this is My Blog and I Say So. What I wish to do is propose that every country get rid of all their current political parties and replace them with two I shall propose in the next paragraph. There is a reason that I only propose two but I may relent and add one other at some point.
The only two political parties should be counter points to each other. That is, they should be diametrically opposed. The average voter, even the below average voter, should be able to easily determine what each party stands for. So, I propose we establish the Chicken Little Party and the Grasshopper Party.
The Chicken Little Party stands for crises. In fact, it gets up and runs around in circles for them. It lives to find them, predict them, and create new ones through actions designed to eliminate old ones. It is a very active party. Forward thinking and full of grandiose ideas. It generally fails to provide either the relief or the bounty it promises but always has an excuse.
The Grasshopper Party is the laissez faire party. Its main purpose is to ignore crises and do nothing to correct, predict, or eliminate them. It stands for nothing. In fact, it rarely gets off its collective butt for anything other than going out to get a meal. It believes that everything will work out if we just leave it alone. Oddly, they may have been right more often than not. It's hard to say because their turns at power have always been interrupted by electoral gains by the Chicken Little Party. Party insiders say this is due to their lack of actually running decent campaigns, preferring instead to assume everything will turn out in their favor.
There is room, of course, for the Heavily Independent Personally Privileged Isolationist Elitist Party. These are known by the acronym H.I.P.P.I.E.s Their platform is basically legalize every substance known to man that muddles the brain and ignore the rest of the world. They are heavily backed by Hostess, Nabisco, and Frito-Lay.
Or everyone could just elect me Emperor of The World. You can trust me, I am honest and very good at delegating.
A Night Unremembered
6 years ago