I Dunno

I am a pretty smart guy. At least, I like to think so. According to the teachers I have known throughout the years, my IQ score is above average. Far enough above to impress them, apparently. They would tell me this repeatedly. It almost was the standard introduction to whatever lecture on my behavior I was about to receive. And I received quite a number of them throughout the years I tolerated school. I also received a few outside of school (both before and after I left it behind).

I came to the conclusion some years ago that I was a Brilliant Idiot.

All that means is I could learn but chose not to use that learning for Good, for the benefit of myself or others. According to certain of these others. And, sometimes, according to me. I also like to describe this as meaning "I test well."

Throughout my early life, like any kid, I got into trouble from time to time. The question that was most often posed at those times by adults was "Why?"

The answer I most often gave (like any kid) was "I don't know." (by the way, that was always pronounced as a single three syllable word... "aye-dun-no") And I didn't know. At least not in any way that made sense to me (at that moment) or would make sense to an adult (at any moment).

The real answer was almost always "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

And that's how we all get in trouble, isn't it? We do stuff that seems "like a good idea at the time" and which, way too often, turns out to have been not so good. Like my first marriage. Like some investments. Like seeing if my `55 Buick would do 100MPH on that stretch of road that really didn't have enough room to slow down before arriving at the traffic light at the end of it. Like driving my Studebaker onto the beach one night. Like punching that window. Or petting that German Shepherd.

Or the hundred (or more) other stupid things I have done over the years.

I have found that we do less of those stupid things over the years. I suspect that it is not because we get smarter but because we get less impulsive.

We're just as dumb as we ever were. We just get less in a hurry to prove it.

[1909/1910/1779]