Why do I do these things?

I enter the room. There are men and women; there is groaning and grunting and heavy breathing; bodies writhing, heaving up and down; sweat is soaking what clothes they have on. Faces contorted in concentration, a mixture of pleasure and pain evident. Music plays in the background, bodies moving in various rhythms.

No, it's not a sex club. It's a gym. It's where people go so they would look good at a sex club... if one would go to a sex club. Which I surely would not. Again. Not now. I am happily married, I am told, and those clubs would be highly detrimental to my health.

Not so long ago, the Love of My Life (She Who Must Be Obeyed) decided that we should get some regular exercise. It was about the time I entered rehab for the kneecap, or shortly thereafter. She mentioned signing up at the local YMCA. And mentioned it. And mentioned it. I, of course, smiled, nodded, and generally ignored ithe suggestions.

After all, I play golf 3 days a week. This involves the rigorous exercise of getting in and out of a golf cart many times per round. The better you play, the less times you have to do that. Since I do not play all that well, I figure that I do it plenty. And then there's the upper body aerobic effect of swinging the club more often than I should need to.

But she got a call one day. It was the YMCA folks telling her she "won" free use of the facilities for an unspecified period. When I asked her how she had won it, she said "By answering the phone." And when I asked how long the "unspecified period" was, she had no idea, that they didn't say; just that she was to come in and all would be explained during her tour of the facilities.

She went the next Friday while I went to play golf. She broke it to me after I had de-compressed from the heat, humidity, and humiliation. She had signed us up for a family membership for 1 year and was given an additional 7 months for free.

"Yippee!", I cheered. Well, maybe it was more like I groaned something under my breath. Maybe "muttered" is a better word.

I will say this much, she is sticking it out so far. Yes, it has only been a month but she goes a couple of days more than I do. I go the 3 days I do not play golf. Sunday, we both rest. As is required, I think, for a healthy body.

I have to admit, I feel better now that I exercise regularly. Well, now I do. The first week or so, I didn't. I felt sore. Now, I just feel tired. Which makes my afternoon naps on the sofa so much easier... and appreciated.