Who? I don't recall him at all

Well, obviously I am remiss. I posted nothing on Monday. Why is that, you ask? Chalk it up to laziness with a touch of indifference tossed in. Or maybe it's the other way around. Doesn't much matter, the result is the same.

I have written over 1100 posts. The vast majority have been truly forgettable. A rare few entertaining. It is, after all, the theme of my life.

Mediocrity is what I have achieved over the years, much to the disappointment of some of my teachers I am sure... if they know... which I am sure they don't. I was always highly unmemorable. I may have striven for that.

When I was very young, I was conditioned to desire anonymity. I wanted to go unnoticed. I became successful at it. So successful that I became invisible at restaurants and department store counters. I would go into a restaurant, be escorted to a table, and only see waiters in passing... passing by my table, that is. I would be ignored. At times, it could be embarrassing, mostly it was just annoying.

Why was I conditioned to desire anonymity? Because attention usually resulted in humiliation or embarrassment. After all, I had an older brother with a sadistic streak. Any faux pas on my part would be amplified and remembered and relived again and again. After awhile, the idea of recognition induces great anxiety.

My childhood friends would crave recognition, even notoriety, while I would wish only to fade into the background. While they wished for fame and fortune, I wished for only fortune and, if that would bring fame, I would eschew fortune too. I became adept at that. I have an uncanny knack for overlooking or missing opportunities.

And so I missed a post on Monday. I wanted to be honest about it. I could have said the "dog ate my post draft" but other bloggers know that cannot happen and, besides, I don't even have a dog.