A Golf Controversy

The following was written some weeks ago while a small tiff was brewing over this "issue" at a tournament in San Diego. I am lazy and didn't feel like thinking hard this morning so I just grabbed this. Hope you don't mind

Can you imagine controversy in golf? I am not talking about the arguments over how many mistresses can fit in the back of a Buick Enclave either. It all about the groove. And wedges. And what clubs are legal.

Even the infidel (non-golfer) can appreciate the nuances involved. It's all about the spirit versus the letter of the law. It's also about something called fairness, a vague concept meaning different things to different people. Mostly having to do with whether you think you can win or lose.

And the physical difference made by the new rule is about millimeters, maybe micrometers. A barely discernible difference in the width of the grooves on the face of a golf iron. Well, and the shape of those grooves.

To understand why this makes a difference, you might find a degree in physics useful. Or play the game of golf well enough to potentially earn millions of dollars. For the average golfer, it means nothing whatsoever. You see, the grooves help provide something called "backspin" with the ball. Most players, roughly 95%, have no familiarity with that phenomena. Some of us can create backspin on a ball but not with any real consistency. I can only do this with a cue ball. If my golf ball has backspin, it is purely by accident. Backspin helps stop the ball when it lands on the green. It also can make the ball back up from where it lands. This is very helpful. If you can make it back up, you can also (theoretically) make it stop or go forward once it lands. It means you are capable of controlling the action of the ball. I, of course, simply try to hit the ball in the general direction of the green and hope for the best. Control means, for me, not wetting myself in excitement when I hit a good shot.

In any event, the new rule has made it more difficult to do this. and it is causing quite a stir on the professional tour. A lot of the stir has to do with a certain brand of club made before 1990 that has been deemed legal to play even though its grooves are non-conforming to the new rule. The pros change clubs like most of us change underwear. Hopefully on a regular basis. The odds of them having such old clubs are astronomical. Especially if they were born after 1985. This is where that fairness issue pops up. Not everyone has access to those clubs.

I think the issue of fairness is silly. We are not equal. Even the pros are not equal. In size, in power, in finesse, humans are inherently unequal. And they use clubs made by different manufacturers. Each manufacturer claims some unique edge which provides straighter shots or more distance. And the various golf ball makers claim better this or that. If these players were really interested in fairness and having an equal chance on the golf course, they'd demand that all players would use the very same set of clubs. And balls. And then it would only be a matter of talent.

Think they'd agree to that?

Neither do I.