So I am perusing the news on Google...

...And I find an article about the Universe's shape[Link]. That's not exactly true... I linked to it from a page about Dark Energy. As it happens, the most interesting places to go are often found tangentially.

The important thing is this: the universe is flat.

I can't begin to tell you how depressed that made me. I mean it destroyed my entire theory about the Big Bang being a small, but malicious, child of some uber-universe setting off a firecracker. On the other hand, the Dark Energy theory provides me another possibility. I prefer my Dark Matter Theory that says the Big Bang was really the Big Suck.

That theory can be analogized by picturing a frog in a Bell Jar and sucking all the air out. The frog does not actually explode, the air inside his body is sucked out at a very rapid rate. Or maybe the liquids in his body try to expand to fill the void, Either way, it's a bit messy.

Dark Energy repels. That would be unlike gravity which attracts. Except that opposites attract, do they not? Wouldn't matter therefore be attracted to Dark Matter? And, if all there was before the alleged Big Bang was Dark Matter then the attraction would have pulled matter from the universe's point of origin.

So maybe this universe is simply sucking all the matter out of another universe, Yeah, that sounds better than the child and his firecracker. Still, I have to figure out this "flat" thing. Why wouldn't the universe be more like a sphere?