I am freezing my [bleep] off down here!

It appears that this winter is over down here. You folks who live north of Florida have one winter each year, we have many. Of course, we define winter as any time the temperature slips below 70 F. And our blizzards are more aptly named snow flurries. Or maybe cold drizzles.

We had an early winter this year. Usually, it comes in January with only a hint of it in December. Last year, we had a tough 2 week winter where the lows were in the 20's with the highs barely hitting 60. I can hear you laughing at us, you know. There were other winters last year, most were much milder. This year looks to be a very bad one with one winter after the next marching through, possibly until late March.

For those of us who live here in Paradise year round, this will be misery at its utmost.

We simply cannot handle it. I know I can't. This is the time of year when my environmental system finds new and innovative ways to break down. I set my thermostat* to 72F. By the time my system reacts, the temperature reads 71.5F. I can feel that. Literally. I can feel the difference between 72 and 71.5. It feels like a 10 degree swing. I put on my "Won't you be my neighbor?" sweater, I wear sweat pants, socks (which remain on when I go to bed), and often cover up with a blanket while vegging out on the sofa watching mindless TV shows. So far, the heater hasn't failed us. I suspect it is waiting for the next, and likely more severe, winter to begin.

I also suspect there is some kind secret communications between air conditioners/heaters. Because when mine has a problem, it seems like most of them are having problems. The repair people are swamped, so they tell me, and cannot get to me until the weather is much nicer and I no longer need the unit to work properly.

When I was in the Navy, they were just starting to install AC on ships such as my destroyer. It was to make us more comfortable in tropical zones, such as South Vietnam. Only one small problem... they tended to shut down when the temperature went above 83F. So I am used to such things. I can deal with heat. You simply stop all activity until it cools down again. Cold is something I just cannot cope with.

I suppose I should be able to. So many others can. And maybe I used to handle it well when I was a wee lad living in New York. But I was whisked away to south Florida at age 9 and my interaction with cold now has an entirely different dynamic.

I expect I will be miserable for the next several months.

@Thermostat, pronounced therm-o-stat. My question is: Why isn't thermometer pronounced therm-o-meter or thermostat pronounced ther-mos-tat? At least there would be some consistency.