A Golf Outing

There is a reason this is so late. I have an excuse. I was playing golf. I got up at Oh-Dark-Thirty this morning so I could travel 45 miles to pay someone to play in an open field with holes in it.

Really.

I got up at 5:10 AM. Sucked down some coffee, gathered the 2 or 3 wits I have left to my name, and drove a mile to where I met with a couple of other idiots and we headed for a place called Haines City. It was just turning light as we arrived at the Diamondback Golf Club. This is a beautiful place and the course is just wonderful.

Let me explain about the golf courses I usually play at. They're flat. The lower half of Florida is pretty much the same... You can stand on a stepladder and see for miles. I might be exaggerating just a touch, mind you, but it's essentially true. In any case, the courses around my little town are all devoid of any hilliness.

Not Diamondback, it's got some elevation and slopes. This is wonderful. Unfortunately, it also has trees. A lot of trees. Trees are what golf balls like to hide behind. It is a beautiful course in spite of those trees.

Diamondback is named that way because of a certain native creature. One of my golf partners thinks they lurk under every bush in an any patch of tall grass. I know better. It's more like under every 5th bush and grassy patch. So I don't worry as much. He also thinks you can protect yourself with a golf club. I know better than that also. I mean, c'mon... I have trouble hitting a golf ball and it doesn't even move. A snake has nothing to fear from me with a club in my hand. I may be Irish but I am no St. Patrick.

In truth, we saw no snakes at any time. We did, however, see trees.

We almost developed a new method of scoring based on the number of balls each player lost. It did seem to have a direct correlation to our traditional scores. Except as poorly as I scored, I only lost one ball. That ball was driven deep into a stand of woods. And bushes, and palmettos. Thick enough you couldn't see into it more than a few feet. Even I would suspect a snake or two in that area. So I didn't bother looking for that ball.

In spite of the trees, the hills, the sand traps, the lakes, the bushes and brambles and palmettos. We actually enjoyed ourselves.

And then it was yet another hour of driving home. I should fully recover by sometime tomorrow.

You can see why I question my sanity.