The Myth of Pandora

Before we start, I'd like to clear up any possible misconception about yesterday's blog post. I did not actually make that puzzle. All I did was embed it, which was easy enough to do, from a site called JigZone. I am not that talented to create something anywhere near as entertaining as that. I do heartily endorse that site, however, and urge you all to become as addicted to it as I am. Try different cuts, immerse yourself completely, forget food and drink and sex, just keep solving those puzzles...

Now, on to our story...

According to ancient Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman. Before she was created by the gods, at Zeus' direction to punish the family of the Titan Prometheus for his giving fire to Man, there were only Men on earth. So Pandora was actually a stealth weapon of the gods. Pretty effective one, too, you might say.

Before Pandora, Men had it pretty good. They could sit around in their boxer shorts (or the ancient Greek equivalent) on the sofa watching the Olympic Games (which, oddly enough, consisted mostly of naked men wrestling) drinking beer (or mead, I suppose), making rude noises and giggling about it (in a Manly Way, for sure) without having to worry about wives or girlfriends bothering them.

On the other hand, there was no one to fetch them another bottle of mead or fix the goat meat the way they liked it. Still, it was paradise for Men. Even if they didn't have anyone to pick up that old underwear or deal with the ever present dust bunnies.

Zeus knew from experience that women would be a problem for Men. After all, the gods had both sexes and the female gods were always causing all kinds of problems for him. Sure, Hera blamed him for his roving eye but what's a god to do when some sexy goddess in a diaphanous nightie wiggle her little rear in his direction? Ignore it? Was he the King of Gods or not? Hera definitely did not understand him. Just as he often told those young goddesses that hung around Mt Olympus.

In any event, Prometheus messed up the Grand Plan by providing Man with fire that he stole from Zeus. He couldn't exactly smack Prometheus down since the Titan had saved his godly chestnuts by fighting on his side when the War between Titans and Olympia was raging. Though he did have him bound and set an eagle to feast on his liver (which grew back daily) repeatedly. Apparently, that wasn't enough so he had all of his gods create Pandora, making her beautiful, clever, skillfu, and alluring and introduced her to Epimetheus, Prometheus' less clever brother.


Epimetheus was smitten, fulfilling Zeus' plan, and married her even though his brother had warned him not to accept any gift from the gods. This would make Epimetheus like any other male faced with a babe who made goo-goo eyes at him. Zeus made sure the gods gave Pandora a little wedding gift which she was instructed not to open. In some versions of the story, this is a jar (which made sense in ancient Grecian times) but which later became a box - probably because women cannot even open jars and have to ask men to do it. Pandora, having promised not to open the gift, tried very hard to resist temptation. But, come on, she's a woman and she had this pretty gift. Why shouldn't she open it? It was her gift, wasn't it?

So, she figured it would be okay is she just lifted the lid a little. You know, just to take a teensy little peek. Surely that wouldn't be cheating on her promise. It wasn't like she was going to open it up completely or anything. So she did. And all the creatures representing the ills and woes of the earth were released and spread throughout the world. She slammed the lid down tight but it was too late. Just to be sure, she opened the lid one more time (she was a woman after all) to see if it was empty and found that one creature was still inside. This creature was Hope. And women have been holding out Hope for men ever since.


[Thank you, Vikki, for putting this in my head]