Golf is an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose. ~Woodrow Wilson
Golf is a funny game. Not funny as in laughable (though you might think that to see me play) but funny as in strange, unfathomable, without reason or logic. And that may be its lure for me.
Golf as played by pros and good amateurs is akin to my game in name only. Whereas a golf pro may make a few errors among his (or her, let's not be Chauvinistic here) good shots, I make a few good shots among my many errors.
Yet I tell myself how good a shot I just made when, deep inside (very deep, buried beneath the massive ego), I know it was pure luck that allowed the ball to get anywhere near the hole.
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~Jimmy DeMaret
I was musing on this while watching Tiger Woods the other day. Mr. Woods played poorly on the first day of this week's tournament (the Buick Open), shooting a measly 71, or one under par, and landing in a tie for 95th place.
Excuse me while I digress... the term "under par" means not feeling well in everyday terminology. However, in golf, it is a good thing to be under par.
Now, for the average golfer, being one under par would be impossible. This is because the average golfer rarely breaks 90, or 18 over par.
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play. ~Joe E. Lewis
But, for the pros, a one under par score can be a disaster. And, indeed, being tied for 95th can mean no chance of playing the final two days. Not for Mr. Woods, however, he simply comes back out the next day and shots a 9 under par round of 63 to place himself a couple of shots back of the leader at the end of the day.
The way he does this is amazing even to other golf pros. To the rest of us, the ragtag, oddly costumed, people who keep the golf industry alive by purchasing golf equipment we think will cure our innate inability to play the game, it is pure magic.
One would think golf is an easy game to play. After all, unlike tennis or baseball, the ball is not moving when you attempt to hit it. And you believe that until you try it. Maybe that is what is so frustrating about it.
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. ~Author Unknown
None of this will keep me from playing tomorrow.
[1608/1609/1478]
A Night Unremembered
13 years ago
5 comments:
I have often thought I might like to take up golf as a hobby, and then I think, there must be dozens of less expensive ways of humiliating myself.
was a greens keeper for a couple year before I took up residential lawn care, putted around a bit, but to invest all that money and time into something I could never do would be silly. I do see it as a great way to enjoy some time in the outdoors but for all the clubs I have seen tossed into the water hazard, no thanks.
IB - "Hobby?" It is more properly called an obsession... with all the degradation, loss of dignity, and abasement that goes with that category.
Neo - It amazes me how few clubs I have tossed and none in the water.
Makes me laugh when people do it to "relax".
Shouting "DAMN SLICE!" and lobbing your golf stick into the rough doesn't strike me as very relaxing.
Jules - You've watched me play! It isn't relaxing. It is frustrating, confusing, and confounding. But the rare time when it all works (for no more than one hole, it seems) just ramps up those endorphins and the mind simply forgets all the misery.
Post a Comment