Some self analysis (for better or worse)

When this is posted, it will be Monday. Many people dread Mondays. We call them "workers". These are the people who are now paying a portion of my monthly income. I want those of you who are doing this to know I am deeply grateful for your contribution. Even if it is involuntary.

Retirement has been good to me so far. I have more free time now. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. I either have to fill up that time or deal with the guilt over being lazy. Not quite true. I dealt with that guilt many years ago when I realized it is simply my nature. I am not a "Type A" personality. I am more like a "Type Z". Basically, I am lazy. I can't help it.

Being lazy goes well with another part of my personality. I am also a died-in-the-wool procrastinator. This means that most of my effort goes to postponing anything and everything I should do. As long as possible. And then some. Laziness and procrastination go hand in hand, I suppose. They are augmented by my inability to make a decision until forced to do so.

Now I have reached the pinnacle for lazy procrastinating indecisive types; I am retired. The only decision I make is when to wake up in the morning to play golf. And I set that alarm clock a few years ago and haven't changed it.

As I was going through school, I was constantly told I could be anything I wanted. All I had to do was set my mind to it. These people did not know me very well. All they knew were my test scores. They assumed I had something called ambition. They couldn't have been more wrong. As soon as I figured out that I tested well, that I could pass tests easily, even ace an occasional quiz easily enough, my motis operandi became sloth-like.

There are times, however, when I rue my personality traits. I could have been driving around in expensive cars, living in large houses, and dining at fine restaurants. Then I realize just how uncomfortable that would have been for me. You see, I am a T-shirt and jeans kind of guy. I hate formality, social ritual, and dressing up. I hate ties, I hate suits (don't own any now and only owned two in my life), I never know what fork or spoon to use, and would much rather have a duck peck me to death than speak in front of an audience of more than 2 people.

Did I mention I am also cheap? I am careful with my spending. This is very helpful if you ever decide to retire on something as measly as the savings I have.

But when you put all these poor habits and traits together, you get the person born to retire. And that, my friends, sums me up.