Love songs? Really?

We like music at this house. Not the same kind of music, mind you, but music. I like a variety of music: classical, jazz, blues, rock and roll, oldies, swing, even a little country now and then. Faye likes R&B and soul and even some of what I like... as long as it is love songs. And I tend to make fun of them. I call them "stalker songs."

That's what they are in reality. You don't think so? Love songs tell you that the singer will always be there, will wait for you, will be right there (just look over your shoulder), regardless of who you're with. She (or he) knows you will not find happiness with someone else. Classic stalker attitude.

A lot of love songs are about unrequited love. A lot are about fighting with a partner. One of my favorites has these lyrics:

Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone.
Let's pretend that we're together, all alone.
I'll tell the man to turn the juke box way down low,
And you can tell your friend there with you he'll have to go.
Whisper to me, tell me do you love me true,
Or is he holding you the way I do?
Tho' love is blind, make up your mind, I've got to know,
Should I hang up, or will you tell him he'll have to go?
You can't say the words I want to hear
While you're with another man,
If you want me, answer "yes" or "no,"
Darling, I will understand.

Ignoring the words we used to put in to make this dirty when I was a teen, it tells the story of a man whose girlfriend is clearly cheating on him. He knows it but he doesn't want to believe it. So he moons over her even while she is with some other guy. Is that healthy?

I read about a guy in California who saw too many romantic movies. He vowed to walk a couple hundred miles to reclaim his lost love. The media found out about it (because he did his best to let them know) and looked her up. She wanted nothing to do with him and was happy in the relationship she was now in.

I think love songs encourage that sort of thing by extolling the "virtues" of total devotion... even for a lover who clearly wants out of the relationship.

Perhaps it's because I had similar problems with my ex-wife. She insisted we belonged together, that she was going to "win me back", she stalked me, she tried to climb in my apartment window, she called me up in a drunken stupor at 3 AM... she made my life miserable. All the while she was sleeping with some other guy.

Relationships are just plain strange. There's the love/hate ones:

Break up to make up, that's all we do
First you love me then you hate me
That's a game for fools
Break up to make up that's all we do
First you love me then you hate me
That's a game for fools

And the ones where one partner knows the other is insane but doesn't care:

Well, I've got two lovers,
and I ain't ashamed.
Two lovers, and I love them both the same.
Two lovers, and I ain't ashamed, two
lovers and I love them both the same.

And then there's that jealousy thing:

Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me

Which some people seem to find "adorable" but can lead to beatings and even murder.

Am I weird? Do I not "get" it?